This week I was struck by an incredibly gifted writer and
survivor of depression.

Julie Hersh spoke at Legacy Books in Plano TX,  and I
went on a friend’s suggestion that I hear her after reading the book by the
same name. http://www.struckbyliving.org/content/ 
Julie had so much wisdom to share for everyone,  even if you or your loved
ones are not suffering from depression.  Some facts: More people aged
18-35 die from suicide than HIV/Aids, yet we fail to educate our teens about
mental health. Her book is powerful and I highly recommend it.  At the
book signing, Julie gave great suggestions on building a strong support network
and learning what you need as an individual need to be healthy, both physically
and mentally. Everyone is different and need to find the best solutions for
themselves.

As an executive  coach, I help people get new
perspectives on their issues. Many folks get so wrapped up in their work and
home issues, that they can’t see any way out. Taking on a new perspective can
really help. Julie suggested reaching out and cultivating friends who are 20
years older than yourself. They will bring wisdom and perspective to you which
your own group of friends simply cannot. Maybe that is why kids suddenly feel
their uncles and aunts are “cool”, and when you reach middle age, you see your
parents and their struggles with a new appreciation. Time and space do help.

So, learn about mental health for yourself, and your loved
ones sake. Also, gain new perspectives to solve difficult problems.

Article: 21 Things
Hiring Managers Wish You Knew

Here is a great article from US News & World Report http://yhoo.it/9hdm2H

According
to Talent Management magazine, April 2010 “Preventing Exit Interviews” (http://bit.ly/bBb4sL), here
are the most common reasons people stay with their employers . 91% of the respondents surveyed
listed at least one of the first two items among the top reasons they stay:

1.
Exciting work and challenge

2.
Career growth, learning and development

3.
Working with great people

4.
Fair pay

5.
Supportive management or a good boss

6.
Being recognized, valued and respected

7.
Benefits

8.
Meaningful work and making a difference

9.
Pride in the organization, its mission and its product

10.
Great work environment and culture

As
I often do, I tested that thinking with my own experience. Just why did I leave
my last job? Was the work exciting and challenging? Exciting yes, but not
challenging anymore. Was there growth for me, could I learn and develop? Yes,
but it was very hard to navigate through the huge organization to know just
where I could look for new opportunity. 

I am sure it was there if I really
pushed, but we were going through reorganization after reorganization, and career growth and
development seemed to be low on the priorities list year after year. Next, I looked
at the “working with great people” and I realized that is why I stayed as long as I
did. The people at HP were bright, innovative, practiced the “HP way” and set
the bar very high from which I would judge other potential employers.

So,
it was true for me that without challenge and career growth, development and
learning, I became disengaged and left.

If
you lead people, or work in Talent Management, ask yourself how many of your
top performers are retention risks because they are not getting what is on the Top 10
list.

In my coaching practice with engineers, physicians and other highly technical people, I have
learned that being a good software designer, MD or financial analyst requires
the competency of identifying problems, figuring out cause and effect,
evaluating solutions and then killing, or getting rid of the problem. These
people are wired to find what is wrong (not what is right) with your code, your
throat or your IRA portfolio.  Then, when they propose a solution and
options, after your OK, they proceed to kill the problem so that it goes away.

Now,
if that highly technical person is given the opportunity to manage a project,
work as a team leader or manager, a new way of problem solving must be learned.
 It is called collaboration. That involves slowing down, asking for other
team members’ input, weighing options, gaining buy-in, discovering that other
stakeholders want to put their 2 cents in, and only days, weeks or months later can they finally “kill the problem.”  It can be really frustrating to have to
slow down, listen to others, get their opinions, and gain consensus.

So
the career path from individual technician to manager of technical people is not one that everyone can successfully master. Organizations need to carefully select
potential managers for those positions through assessments, projects, task
forces and small leadership assignments which allow the technical person
to discover if they can blend their deep technical knowledge with more people
skills, in order to take that next career step.

It
is hugely satisfying for me to see and foster this blend of deep technical skills and
strong people collaborative skills. A person with this blended skill set will have a lot of latitude in
their organization, and consequently they have many more career options than
those with only technical – or only people – skills. 

All that said, it is
reassuring that when I need a highly technical person to fix my computer, they can kill that virus quickly, without any hesitation.

Last
week an article caught my eye in the Dallas Morning News. The title was
‘Venting To Boss Can Hurt Your Career.”

I
eagerly read it because some of my clients still feel compelled to vent to
their managers and do not realize the potential danger they step into.

What
happens after venting? You feel better, yet the boss will tag you as a whiner,
trouble maker, immature or get the impression that you are not up to the job.
Worse yet, they will put you on the list to “manage out”. Think about how many
times you bring problems to the boss without solutions, vs. opportunities,
ideas and positive news?

The
boss will quickly get either a negative or positive impression of you based on
your approach.

Find
a safe place to vent, preferably someone who will listen and not judge you, yet
who will hold you accountable to affect change and take action on the issues
that are bugging you. A friend may listen, but not if it becomes a regular
pattern of you dumping and them listening. Offer to hear them out with their
work issues from time to time. 

If you have a coach, all the better, coaches are
trained to listen, help you see different perspectives, gain awareness on the
situation, what role you may have in the situation and in the problem solving.
If not, join a group who gets coaching from a certified group coach. It can be
a way to get help for a smaller investment, connect with others, and
learn in a politically safe environment. Save that precious time with your boss
for showing your strengths, progress, issues you did solve and strategizing
together on business initiatives.

Sometimes a
slow pace can be downright infuriating. In our instant-solution,
instant-communication society, many love to drive fast, walk fast, talk fast,
and act fast. But as a leader, taking the time to proceed more slowly can
sometimes be the secret to being more effective.  In any leadership role,
there's a choice to make: jump to the answer alone and save time (which may
entail facing roadblocks in the future), or take the time and effort required
to bring the team along, so that they are more efficient and can get the job
completed. 

In order to
build relationships, a leader must ensure that his/her people are on board.
Leaders must get to know their team members and learn their motivations. An
effective leader explains the vision, the reasons for action and their people’s
roles in that plan or initiative. Great leaders seek to win the hearts and
minds of their constituents; although this takes time and it does slow them
down, paradoxically, without going slow, the team cannot execute fast.  

As an example,
I am a member of our home owners association landscape committee. Last year the
committee had great intentions, but then jumped in too quickly, without
consulting any experts, had a short term approach, got mired in the details.
They executed on a few things, but did not look at the bigger long term effects
of their decisions.  They needed to slow
down, gain consensus, and get necessary stakeholders on board with a master
plan, all of which was necessary to go fast later.

Sometimes a
'going fast' approach will work, i.e. making a quick and dirty fix to a
problem, or cutting corners when necessary. For example, sometimes a software
patch is all that is needed vs. a complete rewrite, feeding the kids what's on
hand vs. creating an entire meal from scratch, or charging ahead in an
emergency situation with a less than elegant solution to plugging the hole. But
when it comes to leadership, the speed of execution is about being effective,
credible, patient and willing to listen to all the options, and helping each
member of the team define his/her desired outcome in order to gain buy-in and
commitment.

When starting a
running regimen, you train your body at a slow pace in the beginning to prevent
injuries, and then increase your distance gradually so that you can speed up
the pace on a conditioned body that is injury-free. Similarly, taking a project
in small steps will help the team get on board. This means getting their true
commitment to the plan vs. simple compliance to your wishes.

Even though
going slow can be infuriating at times, working effectively with others often
requires 'going slow to go fast.'

After
finishing the short book, “The Power of Acknowledgment” by Judith Umlas, I
realized how simple yet profound her words are.

Most
managers fail to show appreciation for the work their teams deliver out of fear
that it will come across wrong, or that it is not necessary.

In
a few chapters, Umlas shows how a heartfelt appeal really works to acknowledge
others’ accomplishments, talents and wisdom continually, and how it  can
transform lives and the workplace!

When
we get busy and fail to show appreciation and gratitude for what our teams do,
we miss an opportunity to motivate them for even better quality performance,
inject energy, get great results and improved feelings. In these times of
information overload, managers are searching for simple tools they can apply at
work and in their social lives and at home.

The great thing about
acknowledgment is that we can practice it everywhere, at the coffee shop,
with customer service on the phone, with our families, neighbors and of course,
at work. Check out her book and read it in a short sitting, you will be
changed!

Could
be stuck in the job, a relationship, stuck on a project with no clear path
through?

Susan Stageman, a master
practitioner in NLP, taught me the steps to help someone get unstuck.

1. Discuss the issue with them. Then state, “It sounds
   like or looks like you are confused about (name what it is.)"
2. Ask them, “What part of (it, the problem the situation)
   are you clear on?”
3. Then ask, “ What is confusing about (it)?"
4. Ask them “ What is missing?” or, “What parts are
   missing from the puzzle?”
5. They will tell you and then you will discuss the parts
   that are missing from the view or parts missing from the puzzle. Then ask,
   “What are you curious about?”
6. Once they tell you what is missing, their mind will
   start connecting things and it should be easy for them to tell you one or
   2 things they are curious about, or that they don’t know but need/want to
   know about the situation.
7. Then you will ask, “What is clear to you now?”

This
process is called “Stuck to Clear” and it is a useful tool for helping others
get clear on any issue.

Most
of my clients realize that lack of delegation is killing them. They want time
to build relationships, think, plan, work on strategic projects, yet can’t dig
out from their huge workload. The answer is to delegate. Once you get better at delegating, small tasks stop falling
through the cracks and things start getting done more efficiently. 

Here are the top 10 tips for
successful delegation:

1.  Describe the outcome you desire

Speak in terms of the results
you expect. Explain if you need a 100% job or if 80% will work. Maybe a quick
and dirty solution is what is needed. Be specific and clear.

2.  Develop your People

If you don’t trust your
person has the skills necessary to do the delegated job, ask, “Where can you
get assistance or resources on this project?” Do not take the monkey back and
do it yourself. Your goal is to develop that person so they can do more work
for you next time. You are hurting yourself in the long run if you do the work
yourself. By training your extended team you are expanding your group’s value
and contribution to the organization. By developing your people, you gain their
insight, contributions and good work. 

3.  Determine who is best for the job

Always ask yourself, “Who is
best suited to doing this specific work, me or someone else? If I do the work
myself, when I need it done a second time, will I have missed a chance to
develop someone else’s skill which could help me long term?” 

4.  Frame it

It’s important to determine
how to frame your request, and tie it to an overall vision or goal.  You also want to tie your request to an
individual’s personal motivators.  If you
don’t know them, find out what their motivations are!

5.  Be Clear

Be crystal clear with your
expectations, and expected outcomes. Show examples of what you expect. For
example, say “The report should look like this template…..” and show them the
template.  Remember to ask questions to
gauge a person’s understanding of your request, and be clear when you assign
tasks.  Tell them, “I want you to do this”
not, “We need to do this.” This includes clarity with regard to milestones
(i.e., “This is due Monday, but give me a look at the proposal Thursday by email
at 5pm.”)  Be sure to ask questions and
request that they summarize their understanding of the assignment or their role.

6.  Hold others Accountable

An IT manager client recently
told me she used the word “we” too much and after a meeting, no one took the
action items since the word “we” was used. Everyone assumed she was going to
take the action! A simple switch to “I want you, Joe, to do this” solved the
problem of accountability.

7.  Negotiate

Understand what your team
members need and expect, ask questions, be up front and be a role model for
transparency – all this while being open to creating win/wins. Be open to give
and take.

8.  Match skills to ability

Finally, praise good work in
public, and critique work in private. 
Ensure that the skill of the person you are assigning to the task matches
the job that needs to be done.

9.  Give Constructive Feedback

The best time to give
constructive feedback is right before you need the person to work with you
again (eg: “Dave, last time you gave the proposal to me a day late, please send
it to me by Wednesday this time and if you have questions, can you ask me earlier
so together we can figure it out? Thanks.”)

10.  Use your newly found time wisely

Improving your delegation
skills means you have more time to do what you do well, allowing you to do
higher level work, think, analyze, learn, strategize, plan and build
relationships.

How to Make the First 2 Minutes of Your Interview Impactful: http://ow.ly/1gd7T